You sit down at the edge of the water. At this distance, the music is just barely loud enough to hear. As you focus on your breathing, it all but fades into silence.

The sound of the tides, the intermittent sounds of sea birds taking flight, it all becomes a pleasing white noise

Your mind begins to wander.

I've come so far, how long has this been going on. I didn't just end up here by accident. As much as I would love to tell myself I am just being carried here by coincidence, by fate, I have to admit,

I've made specific choices that led me to this point.

What am I trying to get out of this? Why do I keep going. Even after all of this time, I have no end goal, There is no purpose to this wild goose chase in which I am the chaser, the goose, and the one deciding that a chase needs to take place to begin with.

Is there nothing more meaningful that I could be doing right now?